warning: Graphic content, readers’ discretion advised. This story contains a recollection of crime and can be triggering to some readers discretion advised.
Kiki Doe revisits Jeffrey Epstein’s New York mansion as she recounts her traumatic encounter.
Jeffrey Epstein was found dead in his jail cell on august 10, 2019 after his arrest on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges.
Officials ruled his death a suicide.
Ghislaine Maxwell was arrested on federal sex trafficking, conspiracy and perjury charges in july 2020.
She pleaded not guilty and has denied wrongdoing.
Kiki doe;” i lived in a model’s apartment in Midtown.,i think it was on 42nd street.
and it was a huge apartment, at any given time ,there could be three girls, or there could be 20 girls.
we were all about the same age , and were in the city by oursleves, you know,
some of us for the first time”
The modeling industry was a clear easy target for Jeffrey Epstein, you had young,ambitious,beautiful women coming to New york from all over the world dying to make it .
They want to be the next big model more than anything they’ve ever wanted.
And Jeffrey Epstein promised to make their dreams come true.
KIKI DOE; I was 19,i was in New York on my own,which was a scary place but i knew that i could do it.
They had me cut my hair really shorty…
like ” Rosemary’s Baby,” and it looked horrible, after that , they let me go.
I had no money, and so i started working a the coffe shop as a hostess,
the coffe shop was kind of a legendary establishment,they hired models and actresses , and that’s when i met the recruiter, she was a young beautiful blond , and she was like ,” wow, you’re really beautiful.”
And she said , i actually wanted to talk with you about an opportunity ,she told me about this man that she worked for, she called him ” her client,” and he likes to receive massages and he’ll pay you several hundred dollar for 30 minutes.
And she just kept making it seem like a rally great opportunity , and it just kept sounding beter and better,he has ties to the fashion industry,, he’s friends with a bunch of supermodels.
I said , well , i don’t have any massage experience and she said , it doesn’t mater,you know , he just likes young pretty girls.
I was broke,and it sounded like an opportunity where he could help me if he liked me, the appaointment was around 11:00 or 12:00 in the afternoon.
A maid answered the door, she could barely look me in the eye.
She led me to an elevator, here we went to the second floor,i had never seen anything like that before in my life, so i just went and sat down , and i was super nervous .
Finally , he walks in with a towel wrapped around his ..his body.
I didn’t knwo where i was, i wasn’t really paying attention walking into the house, after the maid had shut the door , i felt trapped .
JANICE STEVENSON:When Jeffrey Epstein entered the room, she knew she was trapped already, she was terrified already, the conversation that he started with her was to calm her down so he could get what he wanted.
KIKI DOE: He asked me what my name was, he asked me where i was from, i told him i was from Texas , and he was kind of tickled by it , but it seemed like business as usual for him .
So he laid face down on the massage table, where i very awkwardly began to massage him, i didn’t know what i was doing , and i was like, this guy is going to hate this , he asked me to take my clothes off,
I was trembling, i was so scared, and i took my clothes off, he began to touch me aggressively, and it quickly turned into an assault.
I distinctly remember him smiling and enoying the fact that he was doing this horrible thing to me that obviously terrified me and was violating me, but he was somehow getting off on that.
JANICE STEVENSON : She knew that she had to either fight , run or freeze ,those are the three human response to that perceived sense of danger and the damage of that trauma continues into their life from that point forward.
KIKI DOE: i had never had a sexual experience before, i was 19, and that was my introduction to any intimate experience.
He handed me the money , $200 , and that was it, he left.
The made came back a couple minutes later, and she let me out, i couldn’t figure ot what had just happened, i was so confused, what just happened?
And i called my mom just bawling in tears, i said, ” you have to come get me now.”
And i was home, but it didn’t feel like home because i wasn’t the same person anymore.
It seemed a lot bigger back then , maybe i’ve tried to diminish it in my mind over the years, but i can see myself standing ther at 19 and waiting for the maid to answer the door and f eeling pretty overwhelmed.
I had never quite seen anything like the inside this mansion , my therapist says that certain memories come back if you go to the place where the trauma occurred.
And.. and i’m going back there , and i … i can stil lsee his face, he seems like he’s still behind those doors and he’s still alive, it’s a odd sensation .
And i still wonder why that maid didn’t say anything, she could have helped a lot of people, she seemed not happy to see me, she didn’t really greet me kindly.
It was strange,I’m sure it’s because she knew what was going to happen,
And what i continue to live with is, you knwo , that moment where she shut the door and that feeling of being trapped,and that’s how i’ve continued to live my life, in a small dimly lit room trying to escape, but i can’t …i still can’t .
It’s crazy how people just walk by like it…it’s any other building,no one notice,
it’s ironic that he had so many security cameras ,as if he was going to be hurt or threatened by someone… when he was the monster, it was everyone else that needed to be protected,
i can’t imagine anyone living in this house,with all the things that happened here,it’s very dark,it’s a very dark place,this place is cursed…
You could say ,well ,why did this happen to me?